33 years

Short fiction

‘January 2044.’

The date was clear in Damien’s mind. It had started in the voice of a dream and stayed with him into wakefulness. He lay still, holding the thought, pushing back sleep.

January 2044… it’s 2011 now so that’s about 33 years from now, Damien thought.

‘Yes’.

Ah, okay, am I talking with someone here?

‘Yes’

Damien felt a line between his own thoughts and others that seemed to come from a consciousness bumping against his. He’d experienced this once or twice before and was unperturbed. He was now fully awake, lying quietly in the semi-dark room, his wife Melanie breathing deeply beside him

In January 2044 I will be about 84. It seems strange thinking about a date so far in the future. I rarely seem to think in concrete terms beyond next week.

‘Yes’.

Oh, you’re back. Alright, I take your point.

Silence.

Damien searched for the voice but it was quiet and he returned to the date.

January 2044, that’s 33 years from now, but what does that mean, if anything?

A realisation came to him.

Is that the date of my death?

‘Yes’.

Damien allowed the weight of the voice’s affirmation to settle into his awareness. He turned the idea over and realised he felt no fear or surprise.

I guess we do this all the time, live with this finiteness we call human life expectancy and push it off into the distance as if nothing will ever happen. But it is a bit unusual to know the month and the year that you will die.

Silence.

Why are you telling me?

Silence.

Another realisation came to Damien.

33 years, the life of Christ.

‘Yes’.

He knew enough of Christian teaching to be aware that it was generally accepted that Jesus Christ, the carpenter from Nazareth who claimed to be the Son of God, had walked the earth for about 33 years.

Well, this is not a bad message for a middle-aged bloke I guess, Damien thought. I’ve got 33 years of life left and look how much Jesus accomplished in his 33 years. But hey, I thought I might live a bit longer than that, you know, and get up to 100?

Silence.

Doesn’t everyone think like that? But here’s what I don’t get. What started the clock? I don’t feel like I’ve been reborn recently or anything, so why 33 years from now.

‘It started with a death and resurrection.’

Damien felt confused. Maybe this is just my imagination after all, he thought.

‘Have you forgotten your illness?’

Damien jumped slightly like a force had gone through him. His eyes were wide open and the vague assembly of thoughts he’d been having were crystalising into something much more certain than sleepy Saturday morning time-wasting.

‘The sudden attack you had, all the tests, the scans. Taking medications, seeking doctor’s advice, trying to work out what was wrong, finding one thing after another as if your body was breaking down.’

Damien’s heart began to thump and his mind was keenly focused. He recalled the health scare he’d been through, how it seemed to go from bad to worse then, suddenly, everything seemed to right itself.

‘You were to die. We intervened.’

The words pierced like a nail through flesh and he sat upright, staring at his own harrowed expression in the bedroom mirror. Melanie stirred and so he got up and walked to the living room, with every sense on edge.

He remembered the relief he had felt as all the bad news seem to drop away, with good tests results replacing bad and most of all, a feeling of health and wellness returning. At the time he’d been so thankful, so relieved, savouring each moment of strength with delight. Now, a few weeks on, he’d almost forgotten, taking it for granted.

I’m afraid I’ve not shown a great deal of respect for what happened, Damien thought. But why did you intervene?

‘Prayer.’

Damien went over those days in his mind. The shock of the first symptoms, the rush to hospital. One bit of bad news after another. The news spreading through family and friends. He knew he had mouthed a few desperate prayers. He vaguely remembered being told others were praying. But he’d forgotten all of this in the wonder of feeling better.

‘Many people prayed. Your parents prayed. Your wife prayed. Your children prayed. Many of your friends prayed.’

Damien did a mental inventory of the people of faith in his life. He also became painfully aware of his own lack of prayer. When had it occurred in his life that he had quietly filed prayer away as nothing more than a nice notion. His eyes began to water and put his head in his hands.

‘People in India prayed,’ the voice continued. ‘People in Indonesia prayed. People in Africa prayed. The deep prayers of loved ones were joined by the mighty prayers of many with intense faith. Our hand was moved in the purpose we already had.’

There was too much to take in. Damien traced a net of relationship to believers in India, Indonesia, Africa. He pictured them in their homes, their churches. He could feel the challenge of life they faced each day. He remembered the intensity of faith and conviction, the challenging sacrificial service. He realised that much had occurred that was far beyond what he deserved.

‘You have begun this new life with death and resurrection. You will end it in the wonder of childhood. Now go and live.’

Damien was stunned. He tried to make sense of all he’d heard.

I’ve come through a kind of death. I’m on the other side and I have a kind of life of Christ ahead of me… A childhood, my last years will be…

As realisation dawned, Damien felt the awareness of the other consciousness retreat. He had many questions but was already overwhelmed by what he had learned.

What can I do with the life span of Christ ahead of me?

‘Damo?’ Melanie called from the bedroom.

‘Yes love, out here’.

‘You’re up early for a Saturday… Any chance of a coffee,’ she said, her voice thick with sleep.

‘Of course, give me a minute,’ Damien replied. He could not shake the otherworldly feeling that lingered and he realised he needed to respond.

‘Dear God, I could be crazy, but I think you’ve just given me a reprieve, not just from an early death, but from a wasted life. Help me to make the most of it. I don’t know if that date is literal, but either way, give me a life worthy of Christ for at least the next 33 years. Amen’.

‘Who are you talking too?’ Melanie said as she made her way into the living room, pulling on a dressing gown, blonde hair askew.

‘Um, just a quick prayer love, not a bad idea sometimes is it?’ Damien replied.

She looked at him silently for a while, and nodded.

He was still seated on the lounge, hands clasped before his face like a child praying. She moved closer and put a hand on his shoulder.

‘I like it when you pray,’ she said. ‘By the way, I just had the strangest dream. Does the date January 2044 mean anything to you?’

The end

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