Off with the moustache and up with the Christmas tree

December 1 tomorrow and a traditional date for many to put up their Christmas tree while listening to carols and eating cherries – in the land down under at least.

But increasingly it is also the day when bathrooms across the nation are littered with much-loved or much-maligned facial hair as it is removed to mark the end of Movember.

The moustaches, including my own, are somewhere in the range of impromptu, uncalled for, optimistic, unrealistic, threatening, questionably bushy, occasionally beautiful and down-right awful but regardless, most of them will go.

To give the many readers of Utterance (he says hopefully) an opportunity to give to the worthy cause of men’s health – prostate cancer, depression – I’m posting this final-hours photo of my Movember mo (with Oscar N in the background) and whilst wearing my Mr Mo shirt.

When I got up on Monday, November 7, getting ready for work and realised I hadn’t shave for a few days, I made the decision to join the gladdening throng of mo-growers. Having had a brush or two with prostate concerns of my own and knowing good friends in serious battles of their own, it seemed the least I could do.

My wife has extended a month of patience but screams when she makes an attempt to kiss me. ‘It is prickly in my nose’ she says and she has asked me to condition the mo or wear a band-aid…

My daughter said I looked German, a vague reference I think, to an unpleasant character of dirty mo fame, and after a week or two I had advanced, according to a work colleague, to looking like an English colonel. Kind, I think.

Another colleague, (Julian, you know who you are) described my early effort as ‘shabby’ but he gave money to Movember so I can’t complain. And my boss suggested I rub salt into it to encourage growth (or flavour?).

Perhaps the strongest response has come from myself when I accidentally catch a glimpse of the moustache while eating, thinking a bug is trying to enter my mouth. Terrifying. And temporary, as it will be gone tomorrow.

So now is your last chance to get a mo-ve on and donate. Thanks in advance for your support. And yes, I hear your thanks for getting rid of the damn thing.

One last thing, I dedicate the month of scratchiness under the nose, numerous wise-cracks and the secret (foolish) belief that it doesn’t look half bad to Peter P and the many other men – relatives and friends – who have prostate issues. Be well.

Donate to Movember

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